Not The Apple That You Eat
by pidgeismydaughter
Summary: What happens if you give an iPhone to an angel? Lady Palutena has HOW much money? Find out in this cute story I wrote about how Pit and Dark Pit get a phone...and find out how long it actually lasts them.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nintendo, Apple Industries, or any other company that can sue me for copyright. So, basically, I OWN NOTHING! My first ever fanfic! I hope you guys enjoy!**

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Pit rolled over on his bed and sighed. Another brain meltingly boring day.

"Seriously?" Pit sighed. "It's not even a month after we defeated Hades! How does life become THIS boring this quick?!" He reached for his 3DS XL charging across the counter to re-live his adventure when suddenly, he remembered. He remembered the day he saw it. On one of his fly-bys above earth. Not Greece, the the little corner of the earth that he saved, but in New York. To be more specific, Manhattan. He saw the teenage girl walking along, with no worries in the world. Holding a small rectangular object in both hands. Since the day he saw it, Pit wondered what it was. He's been meaning to ask Lady Palutena about it, but has never gotten the chance to.  
Pit decided that today was the day since there wasn't anything better to do anyways, and set off to find Lady Palutena. He found the goddess in her garden, and was about to ask why in Skyworld she was, seeing as it was 15 degrees outside, but was greeted by a "shh."  
"Quiet, Pit." The goddess whispered with a smirk on her face. She was up to something, and by the looks of it, something mischievous. As she stepped farther away from Pit, he could see that she was stepping closer to a different figure, napping on the grass.  
"Hand me that bucket." Lady Palutena whispered and pointed to Pit's feet. Pit looked inside and found water and ice. He reluctantly picked up the bucket and handed it to her. She nodded Pit thanks and moved ever so slightly closer to the figure. And as she did, Pit saw black hair, a black tunic, and black, fluffy wings.  
"Dark Pit!" Pit thought as Lady Palutena poured the contents of the bucket onto Dark Pit.  
"AHHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL?!" Dark Pit yelled. Paluentena and Pit burst into laughter. After about 2 to 3 minutes, Pit and Paluentena calmed down, while Darkie was raging.  
"Oh come on Pittoo! It's all in good fun!" Lady Palutena said.  
"It's only 'good fun' when the person you prank gets to prank you back, and that person doesn't get cursed for having some 'good fun!'" Dark Pit angrily responded.  
"We should have a prank war sometime, all 3 of us. No curses, nothing but pranks!" The goddess suggested.  
But Pit wasn't here for another chance on the battlefield, he was here for a question.  
And apparently Pit's face was showing it because Dark Pit remarked,"Wipe that stupid questioning look off your face, Pit-stain. I find it very annoying."  
"Is there something you want to ask me, Pit?" Lady Palutena asked him.  
"Actually, yeah. You know that fly-by I went on about 3 days ago?" Pit asked.  
"Yes. You went to Manhattan, New York correct?" The goddess responded.  
"Uh huh. I saw this girl walking by and sh-" Pit was cutoff by the sound of a whistle.  
"Ha! Someone's got a crush on a city girl, huh?" Dark Pit remarked.  
Pit's cheeks burned and turned a shade of red. "No! It was what she was holding that I was asking about!"  
"Sure..."  
"Just ignore him," The goddess said. "Please continue."  
"O-okay. Anyways, she was holding something that was white and rectangular, and it was glowing, like my 3DS does when it's on. It had a circular button on the bottom of the rectangle. And when she pushed the button, the thing took her to what I'm guessing was a 'home' or a main menu, like when I push the home button on my 3DS. So my question is: Do you know what that is?"  
"Hmm." The goddess thought hard. "Aha!" She exclaimed, "I think, but I might be wrong, what you're describing is a phone. An Apple iPhone to be more specific."  
"An Apple iPhone? What's that?" The two angels said at once.  
"Let me explain what a phone is first. A phone is something that most  
humans use to keep in touch with each other. For example, if you were in trouble and our psychic connection was cutoff, depending on where you are, you could take out your phone and call me on it. It's just like being psychically connected except that instead of hearing me in your head, you hear me though a speaker on the phone, just like the one on both of your 3DS. And on some phones you can text. Which is just like Pictochat, except that you keep the small phone with you instead of the big DS. Got it? I know it's a lot for you two to take, so I'll give you guys some time to let it sink in."  
After about a minute, Pit asked, "And what's Apple? Can you eat it? Can you eat the phone?"  
"No silly! Apple is just a company that makes phones. Phones that are NOT edible." Lady Palutena responded. She was waiting for that dreaded question, the HUGE one with only 4 little words, the one that she would HAVE to comply to, for fear that she would break their little hearts if she said no. So, to make thinks quicker, she added,"On Apple iPhones, you can also download games and music and a lot of other applications."  
Both of the angles' faces lit up.  
Here comes the little big question. "Can we get one?!"  
End of Chapter 1

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**I hope you liked it! I decided to split it into 2 chapters, since i thought it would be too long for just one. I hope I didn't abuse commas too much! Please leave review! Bye! **

** -PitDash**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Nintendo, Apple Industries, or any other company that can sue me for copyright. So, basically, I OWN NOTHING! I was listening to the Centuries and Animals Mashup while writing this! Please enjoy the final chapter!

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"Please please please!" Pit begged and pleaded.  
Since Dark Pit wasn't the begging and pleading type, he just stood with his arms folded, glued to where he was. He told Lady Palutena that he wouldn't move until she brought him an iPhone. And to forget about him eating or sleeping until she did.  
"Okay okay! Yes fine you'll both get one! And so will I." Lady Palutena said.  
"Yes!" Both angles fist pumped the air excitedly.  
"So when are we gonna get it?"  
Pit asked the goddess.  
"Right now." The goddess replied. 2 zip up hoodies appeared in her hands. One was white with a Palutena's Army symbol on the left corner. The other was all black with a purple feather in the right corner. She also had 2 pairs of jeans, 2 pairs of boxers, 2 pairs of red sneakers, 2 pairs of socks, and 2 black t-shirts.  
"Take a bath and put these on. Then meet me in the dining hall." She gave the black sweater, a pair of sneakers, a pair of jeans, a shirt, a pair of socks, and a pair of underwear to Dark Pit. She gave the white sweater and the rest of the clothes to Pit.  
Pit and Dark Pit walked to the showers.  
"So, what color are you gonna get?" Pit asked his clone.  
Dark Pit stopped dead in his traciks. "Did you seriously just ask me that?"  
"Well, yeah. Why?"  
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK?!"  
Pit flinched at the surprise of Dark Pit yelling at him. "Whoa whoa! Calm down, Pittoo. I was just wondering. Maybe you'd like a different color. Maybe white to change things up a bit. That's all."  
The truth was, Dark Pit actually was going to get white. But now that Pit ruined it, he couldn't and got upset about it.  
"Whatever." Dark Pit went into the farthest shower stall and locked the door. Pit went into the one right next to his. The angels undressed, took a shower, and put on the clothes Lady Palutena gave them. The t-shirts had holes for their wings, but the hoodie didn't. So they had to fold their wings against the shirt and zip up the hoodie to hide their wings. They put on the socks and sneakers and walked to the dining hall.  
Dark Pit, Pit, and Lady Palutena ate lunch, put on their coats, and walked outside. It was a freezing 12 degrees outside.  
"How are we gonna get down there?" Pit asked.  
"I'm going to warp us in an alleyway near the Apple Store." Lady Palutena wasn't worried about carriers for the phone, or setting up an Apple ID. Since she had an 'All Seeing Eye', she foresaw this day and set it up. Of course she didn't know Dark Pit was going to be here as well, so she had to add him to the plan at the last minute. The goddess has an infinite amount of money, she uses magic to multiply it everyday, so she wasn't worried about not having enough money to pay the bill. What she was worried about was how many phones they were going to go through until they kept it for more than a year. "This is gonna be unbearable." The goddess thought to herself.  
As they walked into the store, Pit and Dark Pit gaped at the complexity of it.  
"Don't do anything that would embarrass us, alright boys?" She told them softly. "Follow me." She went up to the counter and asked a clerk what type of iPhone he recommended for two 12-13 year old boys.  
The clerk only stared.  
"Oh crap! I forgot to change my clothes!" Lady Palutena thought to herself. She tried to cover it up, "I-I just came back from a..um.." What month was it? "An early Halloween party! Yes. We just couldn't wait so we had it a week early! Heh heh."  
"Alright then. I hope you had a good time. Now, as for your question, I think the iPhone 5 would be a good choice. We have these two colors, and cases over there." He pointed to his right. "Is this your first phone?" He asked the 3.  
"Yes, sir." Pit responded  
"Uh huh." Dark Pit said.  
"Well then, here's what I can do." He walked over to the cases, grabbed 2 white ones and 1 black one and held them out. "I'll give you these for free and 10% off of the phone, but that's it."  
"Wow. Thank you so much, sir!" Pit said.  
"No problem, little man. Now, choose your colors."  
Dark Pit chose black with a white case, Pit chose white with a black case, and Palutena chose white with a white case. They walked to the counter while the clerk went in the back room to get the phones. He came back out and rung up the phones and the cases.  
"That'll be $540 for the 16GB please." The clerk told the goddess. She gave him the money, and he put the phones and the cases in a bag.  
"Thank you for shopping at Apple. Enjoy your new phones!" He sent them off with a goodbye wave.  
"Bye!" Pit said.  
"Thank you!" Lady Palutena said. The 3 walked out of the store and into the alley. The goddess warped them back home. She set the bag on a table and sat down. Pit couldn't wait. He rummaged through the bag and found the small box with his phone in it and the black case. Dark Pit couldn't wait either and grabbed his phone and case out of the bag. He opened the box that had his phone in it and held the button at the top to turn it on. He held it tight and was cautious not to drop it. However, since Pit was naturally more energetic and bubbly, the first thing he did when he got the phone out...was drop it.  
"Pit! I literally just got that!" Lady Palutena yelled. Dark Pit tried to hold it back, but he burst out laughing and, in the process, dropped his phone as well. Luckily he put the case on the phone when he took it out, so nothing happened.  
"See? This proves I'm smarter and more collected than you. Therefore I'm the better twin." Dark Pit took this as his chance to gloat. He pick up his phone...and found that the screen cracked. "Aw crap. Well, at least it's still in tact!"  
Pit's phone was completely in pieces. "Heh heh...sorry." Pit cast his eyes downward.  
"Both of you aren't going to get a new phone until Christmas!" Lady Palutena scolded them.  
"Whatever. I'm good with that." Dark Pit walked off to his room with his new phone.  
"Fine." Pit sighed. This was going to be a long 2 months.

I hope that was good for my first fanfic! Please leave a review! Time to rock out to Midnight Memories! See yaz! =D


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